Pregnancy is hard in so many ways.
You’re growing a new human inside you which is a miraculous thing, but the actual process of growing that human is exceptionally challenging and uncomfortable.
Hormones are running riot and you can’t get comfy.
Then there’s the mountain of new worries to contend with.
You just want someone, anyone, to understand!
Of course, the first person you want to understand how you’re feeling is your husband or partner.
You want to be a team.
You want to go through it together.
Unfortunately, it’s difficult for him to completely understand because he can’t feel it himself.
Most women express irritation at their partner because they just “don’t get it”.
So if you could have your partner really understand, what would you want them to know?
1. Pregnancy is HARD!
Let’s cut the men some slack. They will never experience the discomfort of carrying a heavy baby in addition to their own weight.
They can’t understand how difficult it can be to get comfortable and sleep.
Sometimes, they struggle to empathize with the feelings of nausea and dizziness that you are experiencing.
If they could try truly appreciate your feelings, it would help.
Pregnancy is hard on any woman, whether it’s her first or a subsequent pregnancy.
Yes, some pregnancies are harder than others, but no pregnancy is a time of feeling your very best for the entire duration.
We don’t glow or feel like goddesses every second of the day.
That is the image men are sold of pregnancy.
If only they could understand the truth behind the myth.
2. I Really Can’t Control my Cravings
If you want Mexican you need it NOW!
The fact that the nearest place to buy it is three hours away does not enter the equation!
Pregnancy cravings can be so overwhelming that you literally can’t think of anything else.
If you must have a super size burrito with extra guac, someone really does need to go get it.
If your partner is constantly shrugging and saying “it’s just a craving, it’ll pass”, you may feel violent urges.
Hormones may not allow us to just “let things pass”.
It is imperative that your partner understands this fact!
3. I Am Sorry I Snapped at You, But My Emotions Aren’t my Own Right Now
You’re going to have good days and you’re going to have bad days.
Tiredness, being uncomfortable, worrying, and hormones all add up.
This can lower our mood, making us anxious and snappy at the smallest thing.
Your partner might suddenly start annoying you simply by breathing too loudly.
It’s normal.
If your partner could understand that your emotions are harder to control right now, life would be so much easier.
It’s also important he knows that you really do feel guilty about it.
4. I Feel the Least Attractive I’ve Ever Felt
It’s normal for women to go through body image issues during pregnancy.
Your body is changing and growing, and you can’t control any of it. You’re also fearful of weight gain and how you’re going to lose it.
These are common things to worry about.
Your partner probably looks at you and thinks you look like a goddess right now.
You are blooming and he may love the increased breast size.
But you?
You don’t see any of it.
If only he could understand this!
Most women would like their partner to understand just how low their self-esteem can go during pregnancy.
You’re not used to being this out of control in terms of your appearance and weight.
5. I’m Worried About What You Really Think About my Body
Moving on from our last point, most women also worry about how their partner honestly views their changing body.
They worry that their partner finds it unsightly.
Of course they probably don’t.
If he could understand how much it concerns you though, it would make communication so much easier.
6. I am Worried About Soooo Many Things
Some men don’t worry as much as their partners do.
This means that you may be worrying about literally everything, but feeling like you’re the only one concerned.
Of course this probably isn’t the truth.
Still it would be nice if you could share your worries about things like giving birth, potential problems, the future and your baby’s health.
7. Needing to Pee All The Time is Annoying
If you tell someone “I need to pee all the time”, they’ll probably laugh.
Needing to run to the bathroom on a regular basis is tiring and annoying.
You just wish your partner could understand that this seemingly tiny thing is actually a huge deal to you.
You worry about going on long journeys.
What if there isn’t a bathroom for miles?
It’s a real thing ladies.
8. I Might Not Want Sex, And It’s Not Personal
One of the biggest changes in pregnancy can be a woman’s sex drive.
If your partner doesn’t understand this it can really affect the relationship.
He may not understand how bloated and unattractive you feel.
Or that you need to pee far too often.
He may not get that you aren’t feeling confident enough to feel comfortable getting naked.
Most women would like their partner to know that if they don’t want sex very often during pregnancy, it’s really nothing personal.
Things can, and often do, change during pregnancy though. Things could go the opposite direction with each hormone shift.
Sources:
- https://www.webmd.com/baby/features/an-expectant-dads-guide-to-pregnancy#1
- https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/dad-to-be-pregnant-partner/
- https://utswmed.org/medblog/fathers-guide-to-pregnancy/