I have five children separated by roughly five years each. I usually explain this by saying that it took that long to get back in the mood again. Seriously though, yes your sex drive will probably eventually return after your pregnancy, but it’s going to happen on its time schedule, not yours.
For some women, this means chomping at the bit, waiting for the recommend four-to-six week postpartum healing period to end. For other women, it can be months before they are feeling themselves again.
Remember, pregnancy is a huge ordeal for your body, even if you have a relatively easy pregnancy. For women who seem destined to check every box on the pregnancy symptoms checklist, it can be downright traumatic.
Labor and delivery doesn’t really do anything for a woman’s libido and weeks of swollen, drippy boobs and a vagina that feels like it has been attacked with a cheese grater don’t help either.
The point is don’t feel too disappointed in yourself if you don’t feel like donning some pasties and doing a pole dance. Be patient with both yourself and your body and mother nature will most likely take care of it. If it’s truly a problem for you though, there are some ways to deal with the changes to your body and life-style that might help kick your sex-drive out of neutral.
Give Your body time to heal
The first step in getting back your sex-life is healing your body. That means resting, which can be a challenge with a newborn. For the first few weeks postpartum, try to sleep (or at least sit down) every time your baby is sleeping.
Hand chores over to your partner, family or friends. Or better yet, ignore them. The world is not going to end if your floor doesn’t get vacuumed.
Keep hydrated, continue your prenatal vitamins and eat a well-balanced diet. As you begin to heal, you’ll be able to return to your normal level of activity. Let your body, and your doctor, be your guide on this.
Reconnect emotionally first
It’s common for a couple to lose a bit of intimacy after the birth of a baby as well. Both of you are probably tired and concentrating on your new little bundle of joy. Sometimes all that’s needed to reconnect sexually is to reconnect emotionally.
If it’s possible, spend some time alone with each other either while the baby is asleep or, better yet, with a trusted baby-sitter. Start with just cuddling up and watching a movie, or even cuddling up for a nap. Just concentrating on one another, without baby between you, might renew your interest.
Grab intimacy when you can
When you do start to feel some interest, try thinking outside the box. There is no rule that says you can only have sex in bed at night. As a matter of fact, after a long day that might be the time you are least interested. There is nothing wrong with a mid-morning romp in the living-room while baby naps upstairs or some heavy-petting in the kitchen before dinner while the baby entertains himself safely in his crib.
Whatever the timeline, be assured that your sex drive will most likely return not too long after pregnancy and you will enjoy being intimate with your partner again.