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First of all, we’ll leave the saying “yes” part up to your girlfriend.
If you want to propose to your girlfriend now, go right ahead!
But, if you are seeking encouragement to propose simply because she became pregnant and you’re not sure what comes next, you should probably keep reading…
The Why…
Firstly, subtract the baby from the equation. If your girlfriend was not currently pregnant with (I’m assuming) your child, would an engagement still be swirling your mind? If not, it’s probably not the right time.
But, I know, pretending there’s no baby involved is easier said than done.
I’m not saying you should not marry your girlfriend; I’m simply reiterating that her pregnancy should not be your only reasoning.
Timing
You should ultimately marry her when the time is right (and after she says yes, of course), plain and simple. You should marry your girlfriend because you love her unconditionally and you cannot picture your life without her, not because it is the right thing to do.
We’ve come a long way over the years. It used to be standard to follow the same few steps: fall in love, get engaged, get married, get settled, have a baby. But, the truth is, things simply aren’t the same anymore.
Couples everywhere are succeeding on their own customized paths. Some find more security in creating offspring first, others want to be settled into a home they can call their own before getting hitched.
That being said, there should be no added pressure to tie the knot just because your girlfriend is pregnant.
Showing Commitment Will Be Welcome
If you intended to propose down the line anyway, there’s certainly no reason why you cannot exhibit your level of commitment to your girlfriend now. After all, she is likely looking for some level of security and reassurance from you since she is about to bring a child into this world, and you are half responsible for such.
An engagement would be the most ideal means of showing your commitment, with a promise ring or move-in arrangement coming in closely behind it. A wedding, however, doesn’t need to be sudden. Weddings, big or small, are expensive, and so are children.
One is absolutely happening in less than 9 months already. I’m sure the other can be postponed until the finances are right.
If you’re ready to move forward in any of those respects, go for it! Your union will establish a solid family foundation for your little one. Heck, getting married prior to the child’s birth will simplify the child’s naming process.
It will avoid an argument over whose last name will be given to the child, and it’ll prevent your girlfriend from having to not only have a different name from her child and child’s father, but also from having to file annoying paperwork to formally change her name when the time does come.
Obligation is Definitely Not a Great Reason to Marry
In the end, if you move forward with marriage solely based on your girlfriend’s pregnancy, your marriage will likely not last. Marriage should be based on love and commitment to each other, not an obligation.
Without this sort of loving foundation, your marriage will be based on too little as the child grows and becomes increasingly independent.
If you love each other and are in it for the long haul, get married when the time is right.
If it’s now, do it now!
Remember that you make up half of the first relationship your child will come to witness and hopefully idolize. Ensure the root of that union is planted deeply enough before you try to grow a tree.
Take the “should” out of your question and ask yourself “Do I Want to Marry my Girlfriend?”
Sources:
- https://www.parents.com/pregnancy/my-life/emotions/love-and-pregnancy-should-you-get-married-before-baby-arrives/
- https://www.everydayfamily.com/we-got-pregnant-should-we-get-married/
- https://www.mommyish.com/getting-married-because-of-pregnancy/
- https://www.professorshouse.com/i-am-pregnant-should-we-get-married/
- https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/how-i-handled-the-family-pressure-after-getting-my-girlfriend-pregnant/
- https://www.divorcesource.com/blog/unplanned-pregnancy-and-marriage/