First off, feeling scared during pregnancy is one of those things that most people don’t talk about openly, but is super common. In fact, I’d wager a guess that EVERY pregnant woman feels scared at some point. And for most of us, there are many points during pregnancy where fear is the primary emotion. So do be kind to yourself.
Even when a pregnancy is planned for and expected, the moment it’s actually confirmed can feel overwhelmingly scary. And then there are another 9 months of fears to contend with after that.
If you’re pregnant for the first time the sense of anxiety about what lies ahead is common and normal. Serious questions about the future will start swirling through your mind, ranging from finances to childcare, to body changes and baby’s health, to questioning every little decision. That’s how motherhood is and you’ll get used to it in time.
Fear About an Unplanned Pregnancy
A completely unplanned pregnancy is even scarier. You may even find yourself feeling anger, confusion, or resentment towards your usual form of birth control (that has totally failed you), a drunken night of passion, or a demanding lover that you didn’t say no to when you probably should have done.
If you’re pregnant and scared because you feel you’re too young for such big decisions then it’s important you talk to someone you trust as soon as possible. A doctor, teacher, counselor, pastor, a family friend or your parents.
Don’t put off making decisions about the future out of fear. There’s no avoiding this one. The sooner you decide what to do the better.
So however your pregnancy came to be it’s important to know that feeling fear during pregnancy is so common, it might as well rank up there with morning sickness and breast tenderness.
Up until now, you’ve likely had a good grasp on what to expect out of your daily life. You have short-term and long-term goals that may or may not have included being pregnant. You wake up, have your breakfast, go to your job, college or school, enjoy hanging out with friends, catching up on your favorite Netflix series, and falling asleep on the couch.
If your focus up until now has been totally on yourself, your studies or career path, your relationships and friendships, or simply making sure you call your mother enough. Why wouldn’t it be horrifying to suddenly be presented with the concept of having another small human to rely entirely on you?
Pregnancy changes everything, and although we may have an idea of this prior to getting pregnant, the reality is sudden and unavoidable.
We ALL go through this.
Even if you’re a day-care worker with seven sisters who each had six kids that you babysit for daily, no one knows how to be pregnant until it happens to you.
Even if you watched those sisters succumb to morning sickness and the new challenge of having to rock themselves forward four full times just to get out of bed to go potty for the ninth time that night, you won’t quite grasp the magnitude of the exhaustion and frustration until you’ve experienced it for yourself.
We’re all scared the first time
Every woman who is pregnant for the first time is scared to some extent, because there’s suddenly no certainty. You don’t know how to be pregnant, you don’t know what it feels like to give birth, you don’t yet know how to be a mother. The list continues. All of those sudden unknowns would be scary to anyone. So be kind to yourself.
First day at school. First day at a new job. First day in a new home. First time driving.
These are all scary moments but the fear quickly moves into the past as we become accustomed to our new situation.
You got this
Your pregnancy will be the same. You will learn how to be a mom. You will come out on the other side as a loving, nurturing mother who can give sound advice on pregnancy lows and highs, symptoms, and embarrassingly funny bathroom stories.
Everyone’s time is different, but somewhere during your 9 months of pregnancy, your fear will most likely turn into thrill.
The best you can do is remind yourself that you’re going through what every mom once went through. Surround yourself with a positive support system, communicate your anxieties and rest assured knowing that everything will work itself out in the end.
**If you think your fear may be due to anxiety or depression, (which is extremely common in pregnancy), you can read more about mental health in pregnancy here.
You’re creating a family unit. You’re giving another human being the greatest gift of all—the gift of life! Children are adaptable. If you could do better financially, if you don’t think you’re active enough, if you doubt your mothering abilities on any level, you can improve them – there’s plenty of useful information out there to help you – but also know that your child will love you regardless.
Whatever is stressing you out, you’re about to give birth to a child that will look to you for love, guidance, and protection. To that child, you are perfect. Don’t worry Mama, you got this.
If you’re pregnant and scared and need further advice, drop a comment below or email us here. We’ll point you in the right direction for local help and support.