You can’t.
Although you hold equal responsibility when it comes to the creation and ultimate raising of your unborn child, your girlfriend houses the fetus. As a result, it’s her body and therefore her ultimate decision whether to terminate your unborn child or not.
It’s best to approach the situation from a neutral, understanding point of view. Sure, you can remind your girlfriend of some of the challenges an unexpected pregnancy will cause, but I’ll remind you that, to a woman, having an abortion is not as cut and dry and emotionless as it may be to some men.
It’s like they say, most men become fathers when they hold the baby for the first time, but most women morph into mothers when they find out they’re pregnant.
Chances are, your girlfriend is incredibly aware on all physical, emotional, and mental levels that she is carrying another life inside of her. Choosing to end that life is not typically a priority. To her, she is not caught in a “situation” so much as she is in the midst of possibly becoming a mother, and very soon at that.
Before you invest too much time in convincing your girlfriend to be rid of the “situation” you both created, perhaps you could lend more thought to the benefits having a child can bring to your life. Yes, the thought of becoming a dad is f**king scary but there is a sweet side to it as well.
Becoming parents together may make your relationship stronger, for example. Having children is expensive, particularly when unexpected, but we rely upon family and friends at times like this to help us through. Changes can be made to your daily lives and environments. Preparations can be made. Efforts can be increased. There are ways you can happily accommodate the arrival of another life into your relationship. There is pride and joy in creating a family.
If she needs convincing then chances are it’s the wrong decision for both of you
If your girlfriend needs convincing to have a termination, remember that she will always know how influential you were on her final decision. If she needs convincing at all, it sounds like it’s not something she’d like to do, but she may follow through as a result of your encouragement, if only to please you.
Know that the emotional repercussions of experiencing a termination are typically life-long. Often, for women, the decision morphs into a regret—a regret, for which, she will likely come to resent you. This will heavily damage your relationship, if not now, in the future.
Perhaps, instead of working towards convincing your girlfriend to end a life, endure a physical process she’ll never forget, and create a regret she’ll forever remember, you could put your efforts towards understanding why she doesn’t want to, and how her alternative ideas could be beneficial to you and your new family.
Sources:
- https://americanpregnancy.org/unplanned-pregnancy/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant/
- https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/02/magazine/can-i-keep-a-baby-my-boyfriend-doesnt-want.html
- https://www.theatlantic.com/notes/2016/08/how-much-say-should-a-guy-have-with-abortion/494051/
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternal_rights_and_abortion
- https://parkerherringlawgroup.com/for-birth-parents/making-adoption-decision/alternatives-to-abortion-in-nc/