With a new baby coming it seems like there is so much to do and so much to worry about. Everything is happening in a short time and it’s stressful enough without having a full-grown man attached to your hip.
If your husband has become very clingy now that you’re pregnant, here’s our expert advice to help you deal with it.
Number 1. Be gentle.
Remember this is a big deal for him too. He is changing into a dad each day but his child is growing inside you. The only way for him to be close to his growing baby is to be close to you.
He may also feel excluded from the process.
In addition, not only is he going to be a dad, his wife is going to be a mom. That changing role may make him feel insecure.
Maybe he’s worried that you won’t have enough love to go around and he’ll be left out in the cold.
Or maybe he’s depressed about the disappointing horsepower on the new line of Dodge trucks. He’s a man, who knows what the hell goes on inside their heads?
You are going to have to talk about it
Until you know what is causing his clingy behavior, however, you aren’t going to know how to fix it. I’m afraid you are going to actually have to ask him about his emotions.
You’re going to have to play it carefully, too. If insecurity is at the root, any indication that you want him to be around less is just going to make it worse.
Set aside a quiet time when you both seem to be in a relatively good mood, and phrase the question in the gentlest way possible.
I’d suggest something along the lines of “We’ve been spending a lot of time together lately. Are you feeling anxious?” rather than “Is there a specific reason you have crawled up my butt?”
If you can get a straight answer out of him, great! If he is feeling left-out, the two of you guys can brainstorm ways that he can be involved in the pregnancy without necessarily being in your hair while he does it.
Maybe he can go shopping for baby clothes without you, or even plan the baby shower and surprise you with the results.
If he is worried that you won’t have enough love to go around, maybe you can schedule dates where the focus is on him and you only talk about the baby if your water actually breaks.
The goal is to find out what is wrong, and work together creatively to address those issues.
Alternatives to talking
If he can’t put his feelings into words, or even acknowledge any change in behavior at all, I suggest more a more circumspect approach.
Now would be a wonderful time to encourage him to hang out with the guys more. If you have male family that he is close to or if you are close to his friends, suggest to them that they invite him over to watch a game or work on a project.
In that same vein, look around to find any projects that you might have for him.
Painting the baby’s new room comes to mind, but anything that would be difficult for you in your condition is great.
Maybe you have decided that you must absolutely have a flower garden or a new deck? Is the car making a weird sound? Do the tires need rotated? Do the rain gutters need cleaned? Do you need a moat?
If you run out of things for him to do, you may be forced to develop a craving for an obscure food that is only available three towns away to get a break.
Take heart, when your bundle of joy finally arrives, you’ll both probably be too exhausted to cling to anything but your pillows.