Really, you could fill any new behavior into the space after “pregnant and _____” and it’d be normal.
That, my friends, is because pregnancy is a totally abnormal situation compared to the rest of our lives.
Rest assured, if your question is limited strictly to concerns in the bedroom, you likely don’t have a literal lack of physical attraction for your husband.
Instead, you’re likely experiencing one of a few possibilities.
1. Hormones. We talk about them a lot here at Pregged (sorry to get repetitive), but your body is raging with hormones that are impairing your typical emotion reactions.
Suddenly, you may find yourself bawling at car commercials or getting in a rage because you can’t do up your shoes.
It’s doubtful that both you and your husband will find your new tendency to cry or blow up at the drop of a hat as “sexy”.
Your hormones can also seriously affect your sex drive, which in turn affects how attractive you find your partner.
Some women don’t feel attracted to their partners at all during pregnancy….I mean from a biological perspective what’s the point? You’re already pregnant, there’s no need for that messy business right now. While other women go the complete opposite way and feel super horny when they’re pregnant.
So there’s really no knowing where the hormone merry-go-round will take you.
2. Body Changes. On that note, your body is changing. You may be bigger than you’ve ever been in your life. Your self-confidence will probably take a hit or two. You might not enjoy your new voluptuous figure. Or at the very least it’ll take a while to get used to.
3. Projection. Subconsciously, however, you may project that self-doubt onto your husband and flip the perception into finding him to be unattractive. It keeps you from harping on your own securities, which is relieving and, let’s face it, relief isn’t something we get to experience much of while pregnant.
It keeps you from having to strip down when you’re feeling uncomfortable, and it puts the blame on him. As wives, that’s our whole purpose anyway, right? Blame him for everything? So, it works!
Seriously though, have no doubt that, shortly after your child arrives and your lady parts are feeling whole again, your physical attraction for your husband will return. The only difference is that you may just find yourselves having to sneak sexy time in between toddler naps and sleep regressions.
4. Annoyance or Anger. However, there is a chance that perhaps the reason for your lack of attraction lurks beyond the bedroom, and into your daily lives. It’s still a normal experience though.
Maybe you start to notice that your husband contributes largely to the mess in your house that you’re too pregnant and entirely too tired to keep cleaning up yourself.
Maybe he leaves the toilet seat up more often than you’d like some future son of yours to do.
Maybe you suddenly realize that the way he talks to other women, like his mother, is far from how you’d like him to talk to your (possibly) future daughter.
It’s normal that all of these things may come to a head throughout your pregnancy. After all, you’re beginning to prioritize things that probably never even mattered to you before.
Being angry, irritated or annoyed with your husband is one of the biggest passion killers there is, so try to address the problems as soon as possible.
5. Anxiety. As a woman carrying a child, you’re constantly feeding on worries about the future: finances, childcare, even the manners you’ll ultimately teach your child.
Before now, you never had an entire other human being that relied on you, and, as the mother, you want the absolute best for your child.
But anxiety and worries can seriously dampen our sex drive and rather than a lack of attraction it’s simply that you’re not up for it.
6. Pregnancy Symptoms. Who really wants to have sex when they’re feeling (or being) sick all day? They’re exhausted beyond any kind of tiredness they’ve ever felt before? When you have sciatica or PGP (Pelvic Girdle pain) or back ache?
If you’re struggling with your pregnancy symptoms and just not feeling it, it can be a bit of a surprise, especially if you had a high sex drive before pregnancy. But it’s absolutely normal not to fancy it much at all when pregnant.
Before any of this becomes an insurmountable speed bump in your marriage, bring your concerns to your husband’s attention. Remember that he’s likely set in his ways and could have absolutely no idea what he’s doing that is setting you off, particularly if you’ve never mentioned it in the past.
Whether the lack of attraction is limited to the bedroom or abundant in your daily lives, just try to keep your husband’s feelings in mind. While we may be quick to resent men for not having to physically experience pregnancy, it’s not something they can help, either.
So, allow yourself to cry at the drop of a hat, and swing from happy-soon-to-be mom to furious-cereal-with-mayonnaise-eating monster here and there. But remember that even if you’re not feeling physically attracted to your husband right now your relationship also deserves your attention.